What you Need to Hear When you are Feeling Stuck

It literally took me three hours in a quiet pleasant coffee shop to write some motivation for my readers who are feeling unmotivated: 

Kick yourself in high gear and keep going. 

I don’t talk much about burn out. And I’m going to be honest here, I’m burnt the F*** out. Sometimes it is hard to keep going, but you know what?  There is a choice. 

Do you really want to keep feeling miserable for the rest of your life? I know I don’t want to. 

If you are new to this blog, 

“Heyyyy, my name is Vianka and welcome to thefitsavvycoach.com.” 

Welcome all,

Usually my blog posts are very motivating and super inspiring but today I’m putting myself on blast and everyone else on blast. You guys…..I’m spent.. and I know you are too. I can feel “the stuck” on everybody. 

I’m stuck too and there are moments where I want to just be stuck and not move from it because it is hard as hell. But the thing is if you don’t try to unstuck yourself you are going to stay stuck for the rest of your lives. 

You don’t have to stay stuck forever

We all know one person that we don’t want to be like or we don’t want to end up like. I want you to think about that person for a minute, not in a pity type of way: 

Imagine that you are them. Living their life–jealous about others’ success–immobile because of fear, pain, anger–or physically immobile–maybe they are overweight or battling with disease.

For this exercise let’s say what they are battling with is due to their own life choices. Imagine the excuses they make, the habits they won’t quit. Don’t feel ashamed imagining this person. Feel ashamed that you are now them! 

Do you really want to be them? Be honest with yourself.  Let’s say you have unlovable and controlling parents, would you like to be them as a parent as well? 

OR 

Let’s say you have a manipulative boss or a “horrible boss” who micromanages and who is a negative person. When you get promoted or have a chance to be a leader, do you want to be like them? 

If the answer is no, keep reading. If the answer is yes, GOOD BYE. 

What to do when feeling stuck

Listen, you have the choice to change. You don’t have to be like your parents nor do you have to be like your friends or where you came from.

You can be better.  I bet someone has probably told you this before. The thing is you probably didn’t listen or you didn’t think it was possible.

But here is where things get tricky….. 

The problem is “being better” is not quite measurable.

Take a look with what I mean:

Is it better if I’m not going to yell today?

For you, maybe, but for someone who has kept their emotions inside their entire life, it might be time to start yelling!  

ARGHHHH ARGHHHH!  

I do this often and as much as I need, mostly in my car or when I’m by myself. It feels damn good to express my raw and primal emotions at times. What I’m trying to say is DEFINE WHAT’S BETTER IS FOR YOU and start doing that stuff every single day. 

You don’t have to run 10 miles a day to be a runner.

Whoa.. Creed, Slow it down. Take a look at it this way:

Does Lebron get better every day by playing a basketball game? Nah, he gets better by working on his shooting mechanics, his footwork, and his mobility… Start out with one single step in the right direction and work your way up. You will be running a marathon in no time.

How I applied this logic by taking a step

One of things my therapist taught me is to meditate daily for 10 minutes. She told me this simple step was going to improve my life.

I looked at her crazy….you are telling someone that has ADHD and OCD that meditating daily was going to make my life better?

“Yes.” she said. 

I’m not going to lie, at first I didn’t believe her, but then I started to try. I meditated off and on, sometimes 5-10 minutes a day, and then consistency came. The more I meditated the more I could find out what I wanted.

I truly wanted to get out of the rut I was in. I wanted to know how to get out. My therapist couldn’t tell me what to do. She gave me the tools and I had to make a choice to do it. My disbelief served me no purpose.

Part of my “stuck” feeling was I didn’t achieve much success in my younger years , so I had developed this chip on my shoulder…but as I got older the chip became larger than me!!! In fact it was pinning me down. 

The chip was the size of Mount Everest that I put there! The crazy thing is I wasn’t (and I’m not) even thirty yet. I was and (having) a mid-life crisis. 

This quarantine makes it no better, everything that has ever happened to me or against me is blown up in my face. I had to really go there and confront all my baggage and it wasn’t and (it isn’t) pretty. 

Quite frankly, it is a hot damn mess. 

My motivation as a little girl used to be people who were more successful than me, I wanted to be like them, but I found out that that led me to more heartache and mini-depression, thank you so much INSTAGRAM. 

Finding true motivation. 

I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to be stuck and I don’t want to be like the stuck people I know. That alone is driving me through this nasty dark tunnel. 

Just like misery loves company, stuck people love to stick to you and drag you down. They can’t help it! Stuckness is a disease and it is highly contagious. 

How to get unstuck: 

This weekend, I was meditating like usual and I was focusing on the solar plexus chakra. I’m not a meditating guru or anything like that, but meditation has really helped grow in many areas. 

When I was meditating, I had my bare feet on the floor, I was sitting straight up (a straight spine is important) and I was surprisingly relaxed. Sometimes when I meditate it is hard to relax, but I have heard from a couple of people that being relaxed is a crucial part of meditation.

Any who, just as I was about to wrap things up, a few words came to. The words keep going. Soft and plain, so simple and so clear came from the center of my body. I was caught a little off guard.

I know the past few weeks I have been restless and it feels like so many years I have been battling tooth and nail against this huge wall in my life and it is exhausting. 

Some Days I don’t feel like battling and some times, I don’t want to go to therapy. 

BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE. 

If I really want to make my life better and be the healthiest I possibly can be and reach my full potential I  can’t fall back in my old habits. I HAVE to push forward. There is no other option here. You don’t have any option either.

If you don’t keep going and keep pushing you will end up stuck. 

Get out of your head and get in your body, 

MOVE-

Fitsavvy

Extra Bonus

I’m still learning how to be better. It isn’t a quick and easy fix. First thing is to become self aware. Know where you are weak and commit to change. I can fully say I see a lot of growth and changes in my life, but I’m still not where I should be, but I’m working towards it. At times I do feel stuck but I also know if I push through I will break through.

We got this no matter what.

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